On the road to rediscovery...

It has been a loooonnngg time since I have written on this blog but after cutting all my hair one month and one week ago, I decided that I have reason to write again.  I had been struggling with the decision to "go natural" for well over a year but I just couldn't decide.  Plus I loved my hair cut & color.  My hair was healthy so why mess with a good thing?  But for me I think it went deeper than just cutting relaxed ends off of my hair.  For me it is about self discovery, appreciating the Me that God created, flaws and all.  As I have said in a previous post, growing up was no walk in the park.  I had many insecurities about my the color of my skin and my weight and then eye glasses were thrown into the mix.  Not that I was overweight...far from that...but I was underweight.  I went into my high school years not even weight 100 lbs.  All around me were these girls that were filled out and there I was... a deflated balloon...All I cared about was what people thought about Shantae because to me their opinion shaped who I was.  If someone said I was funny looking, then I thought I was funny looking. Oh and when I got a compliment, that would make my day but I always had the negative comments in the back of my head.

Leaving high school and on to college wasn't a huge difference for me.  I had gained about 15 lbs so I was weighing in at a whopping 115 lbs!  I was a little  more comfortable in my own skin but not really.  I had been getting more frequent compliments so I started to think a little more about myself.  But the one compliment that to this day rubs me the wrong is "you are really pretty to be dark skin".  So are you  insinuating that darker skins are normally unattractive?  Anywho, I continued to live life with security issues but didn't accept this fact until about 5 years ago.  I would look in the mirror and wonder "would someone find this attractive?"  that question fueled how I dressed, how I did my hair, and if I ripped a contact lens that would just end all because that meant wearing my dreadful glasses.

Fast forward five years, I am 28 years old, have been married for seven years and am the mother of three children.  Wanna know something funny?...The weight that I longed to have when I was 115 lbs, I now have but up until recently was trying so hard to get rid of.  It took me to actually see pictures of myself then and now to realize that I don't need to change a thing, well I sure could tone everything up.  But at 147 lbs, why am I trying to lose 20 lbs? (I remember when I was trying to gain 20 lbs) Is it because that's what I want or that's what I think people want to see?  This is what I have to ask myself.  Because if it is the latter, then I need to refocus.  We must develop the "this is me, take me as I am" attitude.  Now I feel like as long as I know I look good in my clothes, I am happy with my weight.  But you will never see me past 150 lbs! Ever!!

When it came to cutting my hair, I had been constantly thinking about it more and more.  I researched taking care of natural hair, and watched plenty of tutorial on how to do it.  So one day, I didn't turn back.  I washed my hair, looked in the mirror for a few seconds and reached for the scissors (no I do not know how to do hair lol).  I cut way more than I wanted to but thankfully the hubby fixed it and there was no turning back.  It was all gone.  No matter how long I looked in the mirror the image would remain the same.  I got many compliments but still questioned if I had made the right decision but you know what?, it's just hair, it will eventually grow back.  In the mean time, I will be on this journey of rediscovery.  Getting to know me, outside of the opinion of others.  Outside of what society thinks.  To do what makes ME happy!

I know this post is lengthy but hopefully somebody somewhere will see something in my words that will put them on their own path to self discovery.  It is hard nowadays because everyone seems to have an opinion but I think with the strength that only God can give, we can overcome.  We will overcome, as long as we choose to fight!

Continue to follow my personal journey to rediscovery and mission to redefine "beauty".  It's gonna be a long bumpy road ahead so fasten your seat belts and stay tuned...

To Look in the mirror and like what you see...

Looking through magazines, all we see are these beautiful tall and slender women.  We see how cute their bodies look in the clothing and we begin to desire to look like them.  Now as you're on the tread mill, you have that image in your mind, hoping to get your body to look like that body in the magazine.  But what we fail to realize is that we cannot always believe what we see.  Photos are retouched.  Models wear body shapers, push up bras, they can also tape their clothes in place.  No one is perfect but with the help of some products out there, we can always portray perfection.

As you should already know whether you are 125 lbs, 225 lbs, or 325 lbs, you are all beautiful.   We should not strive to be a certain size yet strive to be healthy.  Remember there is a such thing as being under weight and not all skinny people are healthy.

There are a few tricks that I want to share that will help to accentuate what you already have.  The first thing is make-up. Make-up can be used to enhance certain features of your face.  If you have a facial feature that you like the most, make the most of it.  I love my eyes so I make sure that I flatter them.  If you don't like make-up, start off with it being more natural.  For tips on applying make-up that looks natural, check out youtube.

The next trick is body shapers. My favorite body shaper is the Squeem Magical Lingerie. This is not the typical body shaper or girdle.  Once it's on, your waist is instantly smaller, showing off your beautiful curves.  With this particular body shaper, if you wear it daily you can lose up to 4 inches in one month.

I am always finding new ways to reinvent myself.  Wigs are a great way to do that and they are also a great go-to for bad hair days.  They are making them to look more like your own hair so you don't have to be embarrassed about wearing it because no one will know that you are wearing one.

Whatever you do, don't do something to make yourself  beautiful but do it to enhance your beauty.  If you don't think that you're beautiful no one else will.  Remember that you are beautiful and no one can beat you at being you!

Introductions

As a child, as many could say, I was often made fun of because I was this skinny little black girl. Because of this, I hated being skinny and I hated being dark skinned. Every day I wished I could be light skinned. I could deal with being skinny but having to deal with this dark skin was a little harder to deal with. Going throughout life, I would get the "you look good to be dark skinned" insinuating that dark skinned people usually don't look good?!

Years went by and I would constantly compare myself to others wishing I looked like someone else or I would be better off if I were 5' 9'' instead of the 5' 4" that I am. Then when I packed on all this stomach fat from having my babies that I couldn't get rid of, I really hated myself. Finally something clicked in my brain. I was created in God's image and I am sure that God is the most beautiful creator and he only creates beautiful things. When God created man he said that is was not just good but very good. I took on that mentality and day by day I am overcoming this obstacle. Now I am able to look in the mirror and say to myself "whew I look fly!" I praise God everyday for finally being comfortable in my skin. We have the power to change our perspective in life. Life is really what we make it. If we make it depressing and meaningless then that is what we get but if we take advantage of every opportunity and chose to be happy then we are really able to enjoy life!!

From this day forward we must all do what we can to unveil our true beauty. Remember we are ALL beautifully and wonderfully made!!