Leading by example

The hardest thing about being a mom to me is raising my little girl in today's society.  With all these images around of what beauty is, I have to do my best to make sure she understands that everything about her is unique and that is what makes her beautiful.  I love make up and all things fashion and I don't want her to get that confused with thinking that she needs a full face of make up or a dope outfit to be "beautiful". I used to hate thinking about this from a race point of view but the reality is we are black and some of the issues that come along with being black have to be addressed.  We live in a predominately white area so there aren't many kids in her class that "look like her".  When I decided to stop straightening her hair and letting her rock her natural, it was a little difficult for her at first because all the girls in her class had long straight hair and she didn't want to be different.  So lesson #1 for my 7 year old was that there is nothing wrong with being different and that being different is what makes her unique.  At one point, she hated when people would draw attention to how big her eyes were and sometimes she would cry.  So once again, we had to have a talk about one more thing that made her very unique.  Tackling these things at this age was scary at first because I couldn't believe that a child this young is already having issues with their "image". But the good thing is that this is being instilled in her at an early age so nobody can come in and tell her otherwise.  I want her to know that there is no real image of beauty.  Giving her those pep talks helped me realize some things about myself as well.  Being darker skinned or a woman of color bothered me for a long time.  I had certain people that were close to me in my ear at a very young age that insinuated that black=ugly and light=beauty, straight hair=good hair and nappy hair=not so good hair.  At 28, I'm almost comfortable in my skin.  I have to be honest, I still have flaws that I am trying to  accept and embrace as apart of my uniqueness. I think as I continue to build up my daughter, it is helping me with my own.  Leading by example is the name of the game. I can't tell my baby to embrace her uniqueness if I'm not doing the same because eventually she's going to notice because of course, kids, especially nosy little girls, notice everything! lol

My Mommy Makeover

For year, I have been focused so much on being the perfect mother to my kids and making sure all their needs were met that I had forgotten about all the "needs" that I had that went unmet.  I am undeniably a wife and a mother but there is more to this woman than laundry, pot roasts, and dusting.  I was a stay at home mom for several years and in those several years, I have come to the conclusion that being at home all day with my babies is not my style!  In no way am I saying that I need to neglect my duties as a mom and have my 3, 5, and 7 year old fend for themselves.  What I am saying is that it is time to carve out time for me.  Time for me to just be with me and nurture the things that I love/have passion for.  I enjoy going to the gym and learning more about how my body works.  I love going to my closet to figure out how many different outfits I can put together.  Eventually, I would like to share what I have learned with other mamas like me.  I can't parent effectively if I feel like I'm wasting away. As a mommy, I have to hold on to some things that make me, me (a unique individual). I have to realize that contrary to what the old school mamas may think, I am more than just somebodies mama.  I am a woman with visions, goals, and dreams.  I can't push my babies to go after their dreams if I am not doing the same. We gotta lead by example.  So alongside my road to self discovery, this mommy is getting a makeover! I'm tearing apart what the image of an ideal mommy is and reinventing this mommy for not only what works for this family but for what works for myself as well.  I'm a mommy on a mission!